“Don’t Get Married”: A Summer Position in Family Law

During my summer position in family law, I’ve heard more than one family lawyer half-jokingly say the best way to avoid the chaos is simple: “Don’t get married.” Romantic, I know.

Working in family law

Family law as a practice area is part litigation, part emotional triage, and part crisis management. The most shocking part of my summer was how much law is packed into family law. There’s statute interpretation, common law, procedural rules, and then the actual practical work of figuring out who can pick up the child from school on Wednesdays. This summer I drafted materials, organized exhibits, and sat in on meetings. One of the most memorable experiences was attending a meeting with opposing counsel where a partner at my firm tried to persuade them to settle and not continue to trial, as it would put both parties into insurmountable debt. Watching the partners at my firm balance empathy, practicality, and advocacy was inspiring and taught me what kind of family lawyer I want to be when the time comes.

One thing I didn’t expect going into family law was just how many other areas of law it pulls in. It’s the intersection where every practice area comes to play. One day you’re analyzing pensions, the next you’re digging into corporate shareholder agreements. There are property law issues, tax implications, trust law questions, immigration considerations, and even aspects of criminal law. You deal with elder abuse, intimate partner violence, no-contact orders, and child abduction. Honestly, I’m not sure if there’s another practice area that demands such a wide scope of legal knowledge and people skills.

Jack-of-all-trades and family law fun

Lawyers in family law wear a lot of hats, whether that be litigator, negotiator, therapist, and sometimes even tech support. I saw how emotionally draining it can be, especially when children were caught in the middle of really messy disputes. But I also saw genuine moments of relief, when people were successful in their motions, or got increased parenting time after years of seeing their children only once a week, if at all. 

Family law isn’t glamorous. There are no crazy courtroom outbursts (okay, maybe a few), and you aren’t giving passionate speeches to a judge every other day about why someone should get to see their children on Halloween. But it is real. It’s where law meets life in its messiest form. And honestly, I loved every unpredictable minute of it and can’t wait to return as an articling student next year.

As for the advice I keep hearing, “don’t get married,” I see where they’re coming from. But after this summer, I’d add a caveat:

if you do get married, maybe look into getting a marriage contract…just in case.

"Penguinuptials" was a delightful title suggested by Jason Bowles-Conover for these star-cross penguins drawn by Kimberly Gilson.