“Grafitti, Cowboy Boots, Stag Movies + The Law” | Transcribed for the 1973 Anonymous "Saint"

Introduction

This piece was submitted anonymously as a handwritten letter, though the law school soon came to know the author colloquially as the "Saint." After deliberation, Doug Shatford moved forward with its first publication in volume 1, number 5 of The Weldon Times on April 4, 1973. Shatford decided to print the unedited copy version of the letter, but for accessibility purposes, this publication will feature a version directly transcribed to the best of my ability, errors and all. For reference, at the end of this article, you can see the letter yourself. (As an added online bonus, you can read Doug's reasoning for publication as well as contemporary student responses from the law school.) Enjoy.

Transcribed Letter

The “Grafitti comment” in the Feb 9 issue of Weldon Times represents the mere tip of an iceburg. It is unfortunate that Dal Law School seems to have a significant knot of guys who don’t do much for the school. I cannot believe that out law school any longer enjoys the eminence it once had. And it is because our law school is suffering this plung that I write this note.

We have at our school a group of guys who are real zeros. These guys write The Grafitti, wear cowboy boots, attend stag movies, and hope to be able to “cash in” on the law. These guys are pre-dominantly in third year, but they also have some colleagues in second year. First year, a beautiful collection of people in my view (as well as all the girls at school), does not appear to have any people associating with this crowd.

To ensure that my comments are not misunderstood by this group of guys, I will express my views [scratched] using sexual analogies, as I expect sex is the only relevant term of reference for these people – except perhaps money, too.

I see three issues, and they all affect the amount of respect Dal Law School is entitled to enjoy. The issues are: (1) Dal Law Journal (or Review), (2) Domus, and (3) Convocation.

I have no respect for the guys who (1) write Grafitti, (2) wear cowboy boots, and (3) attend stag movies, because that behavior indicates a person who has not been affected by the “Green” Revolution which has hit North America. These people, quite simply, are square + materialistic + insensitive and the law profession already has too many people like this. Hence they are zeros.

Now for the sexual analogies. At Dal Law School we need more intellectuals, more people who are genuinely interested in using the law to solve social problems – are opposed to selfishly using the law to make money. Those people who are insensitive to the need to employ the law in solving social problems I will call masterbaters – since such people are essentially selfish and unable to relate their law careers to anything other than their own (hence masterbating) selfish desires.

On the other hand we have students are out law school who have an intellectual + unselfish approach o the law. These people, as opposed to the masterbaters, are true lovers. To these intellectuals, their orgasm is seeing the law relieving painful social problems. For the masterbaters, their orgasm is seeing a Stingray parked in front of the law school, or in some other way watching the law satisfy their insensitive materialistic needs.

Regarding convocation, the masterbaters come at the thoughts of a separate convocation, because it represents a therapeutic ego trip. To the loves, convocation is a drag, useless and wasteful frivolity. They want to get on with the job.

Regarding Domus, quite naturally the masterbaters need Domus because it offers the security of “the boys”. [Editor’s note: Domus has a complicated past and present, but folks like Elizabeth Fleet, Andy Weir, Sybil Danyk-White, and more continue to reform it so everyone has a space to boogie down.]  It’s like sitting around an ejaculating all together. To the lovers, Domus is a drag because Domus is one big repeat of what was done in Grade 10 in High School. To the lovers, getting sensitive to the law is groovy, and they ejaculate with Lord Denning and the House of Lords. And finally, the proposed Dal Law Review, the masterbaters probably think that [unclear] a review is for the faculty. They probably never considered the vacue [?] of having a review to which students could contribute and be subject to the critical assessment of the entire Canadian legal community, needless to day, the masterbaters would likely be unable to get an erection with the mention of a Dal Law Review, but for the lovers, a Dal Law Review, to which students can contribute, is like the most beautiful bed of love there could be – erection is instantaneous.

I am concerned that Dal Law School not become a schoo of masterbaters, convocation and Domus have nothing to contribute to making Dal Law School sensitive to the need for legal solutions to crying problems, but a Dal Law Review has. 

I say that it’s time that the masterbaters at our law school get castrated,

Anonymous (regretfully)

Original Letter

First page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Second page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Third page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Fourth page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Fifth page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Sixth page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Seventh page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Eighth page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Ninth page of letter. Originally published April 4, 1973.

Doug's Editorial Reasoning for Publishing the Works of the Weldon "Saint"

Contemporary Law Student Responses to the "Saint" Letter