As you may know, dear readers, The Weldon Times is no stranger to the strange. Canada’s jurisprudence is filled with cutting edge paranormal research, if you know where to look.
Our readers have undoubtedly heard of Bigfoot: a large bipedal humanoid that wanders the deep woods, leaving traces of evidence commonly in the form of large footprints. Bigfoot truthers allege that the creature is part of an endangered species, which helps in part to explain their elusive nature. It logically follows that Bigfoot deserves some kind of legislative safeguard to be protected from extinction. It is the opinion of this author that the omission of humanity’s large-footed-genetic cousin in both the federal Species at Risk Act (SC 2002, c 29), and relevant provincial wildlife legislations constitutes a major oversight.
Protecting the humble sasquatch
Luckily, there are brave truthers out there prepared to bring the fight to the government to protect the furry cryptid. In 2018, Bigfoot researcher Todd Standing brought several Charter challenges to the Supreme Court of British Columbia in Standing v British Columbia (Minister of Forests, Lands, and Natural Resource Operations) 2018 BCSC 1499. Mr. Standing alleged “that the Province has done nothing to substantiate or acknowledge the existence of sasquatch; there are no safeguards to protect the species from being killed.”
Mr. Standing, who runs a rather successful YouTube channel known as “Sylvanic Bigfoot”, has published many videos of alleged Bigfoot encounters. From evidentiary analysis to in-field reporting, Mr. Standing is undoubtedly one of Canada’s most prolific cryptozoologists. Some of his most famous videos have titles like “Undeniable 100% Proof. They Saw Bigfoot”, “Sasquatch Saved My Son”, and “United States Military Captures Bigfoot”. The terrifying implications of a weaponized Bigfoot warrants its own Weird Weldon article, but I digress…
Mr. Standing based his Charter claims in sections 2(b), 12, and 15:
“2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
. . .
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
. . .
12. Everyone has the right not to be subjected to any cruel and unusual treatment or punishment.
. . .
15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.”
Bigfoot in big trouble
In coming to their decision, the British Columbia Supreme Court undertook an in-depth Charter analysis on each of Mr. Standing’s grounds. Unfortunately, and perhaps unsurprisingly, all of Mr. Standing’s claims were dismissed. The Court refused to acknowledge that the Province of British Columbia owes a duty to Canadians to undertake state-funded research into the existence of sasquatch. They also denied that “a belief in the existence of sasquatch” met the grounds of an immutable characteristic for the purpose of s.15:
“Mr. Standing's belief in the sasquatch's existence is not a political matter. Second, such belief is not akin to "constructively immutable" grounds like religion. Where religion can be an element core to a person's state of being in all aspects of life, the same cannot be said of a belief in the existence of the sasquatch.”
Alas, Mr. Standing’s case was dismissed with costs to the Province. Was this a case of judicial coverup of Bigfoot, or was it merely an unconvincing set of facts? I urge my readers to come to their own conclusion.
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